For some reason, the original HTML file was labelled Survivor Series. I don’t recall if I ever did a Survivor Series picks, but this ain’t it. Therefore, it’s Armageddon 2002. In any case, I don’t remember this show aside from the World Title match between HBK and HHH, which I recall hating at the time, but somehow eased up on it at a later viewing. Don’t expect modern reflections for every match because I ain’t got any.
Good morning kids. Tonight’s Armageddon 2002, which means I predict matches. This month’s offering doesn’t seem that great and seems rushed. Oh well, let’s get on with it:
Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson Skit
2002 Note: Yeah, I know. This is not a match, but I have to lay my two-cents. For the uninformed, the skit will have Dawn Marie show the hotel room incident from a couple weeks ago that UPN didn’t want to air (showing that there are actual smart people who work at that network). Please get it through your head, Vince; Shock TV is dead. Supposedly, you said it yourself. No one bought the HLA thing when it was on RAW. Everyone FLED when you did the Katie Vick thing. No one is going to buy it on Smackdown.
2012 Update: What was the point of this again? Aside from the fact that it had won a Wrestlecrap Gooker Award that year?
Kane vs. Dave Batista
2002 Pick: Dave Batista was the guy you’ve seen on Smackdown months ago when D’Von had that Reverend gimmick. Now they’re pushing him as an indestructible machine. I don’t really know what to say about this one. I think Batista is going to win this potentially sloppy match, because Kane is so utterly useless. Remember when this guy used to be menacing and interesting a few years ago? I’m sure you don’t and I don’t blame you.
Winner: Batista did get put over. Batista did beat Kane. The match was sloppy. Does that count as two correct predictions? In my book (and it is my book), it does so, 2-0.
2012 Update: Batista did pretty well after this, what with a number of World Title wins and endorsement from He of the Three Hs… and Kane is still gainfully employed, having undergone many incarnations and a World Title reign that actually lasted longer than 24 hours.
Chris Nowinski vs. Maven
2002 Pick: Congratulations, Maven. You’ve won a WWF contract. Make the most of it… sigh.
This is pretty much a preliminary match that somehow made it to a pay-per-view. On the other hand, it’s not like the rest of the card is any more appealing to begin with. Let’s give a win to the Harvard graduate.
Winner: The match never happened. I have been mis-informed. Leave it to the Internet to give me fake matches and then end up being fake. On the other hand, the Heat match that did happen (Jeff Hardy beating D’Lo Brown) was no better.
2012 Update: No clue why I even left this on there since the match never happened, but here’s the interesting thing. Maven Huffman won the original Tough Enough and got a contract. Chris Nowinski was a runner-up (not winner) and eventually got a contract, thus making the whole contest worthless. Same deal with the recent revival of Tough Enough; you had that one guy, Silent Rage or whatever, win the contest, but outside of a couple cameos here and there, we haven’t heard one peep from the guy.
A-Train vs. Edge
2002 Pick: Before you ask, A-Train is the new name for Albert. Before you ask again, he’s the big hairy guy who was getting matches on WWE Velocity up until a couple weeks ago, when the WWE brain trust decided to push him instead of Matt Hardy – Version 1. Too bad, really. A Mattitude/Edge confrontation would be great considering we’re dealing with two former tag team wrestlers with a long history. Instead, we’re getting a squash match with a win for A-Train. Sorry, Edge.
Winner: Well, okay. It was a DQ win for Edge, but not necessarily a good thing either. 2-1
2012 Update: Interestingly enough, the Matt Hardy/Edge rivalry would take a different turn in later years when Matt Hardy cried about Edge and Lita in a relationship. It was probably at that point where Matt started to crack, but Edge continued to prosper in his career and is enjoying a nice retirement (and a Hall of Fame induction) that came too soon.
Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero
2002 Pick: I don’t know about you, but I would really like these guys to feud with other people. Sure, these guys produce great matches with each other; no doubt they will once again here. It’s just that you can only have so much of a good thing before it starts to get stale and people get bored with it. As for an actual winner, let’s chalk one up for Benoit.
Winner: Clearly enough, Benoit wins it. And clearly enough, the match was good. 3-1
2012 Pick: It’s the two dead wrestlers match. Some may find this difficult to sit through, all things considered.
[Eric Bischoff’s RAW] World Women’s Title
Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria (c)
2002 Pick: Who are the real winners? The cast of the Street Fighter II video game for keeping me entertained while this match is going on.
Winner: This match wasn’t interesting. Victoria the psycho-bitch wins the bout. Unfortunately, I was in the toilet for most of the bout and thus SF2 could not entertain me. 3-2
2012 Update: Looking back at this older prediction sheets, it seems obvious that I never really cared for the Divas division. Maybe none of the Divas at the time did much for me, but then again, when the whole division comprised of two women wrestling in their underwear or in a pool of chocolate pudding or whatever, it’s often hard to find a reason to care about the division to begin with.
Four-Corner Elimination Match for [Eric Bischoff’s RAW] World Tag-Team Titles
Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Goldust/Booker T vs. The Dudley Boyz
2002 Pick: A match put together because they have nothing better to do with these guys. Does this match have the potential to be the highlight of the show or at least be any good? Perhaps, because you have some of the best talent that RAW has to offer (and the Dudley Boyz… heh heh!) featured in this match. In any case, whoever wins this match will simply be fodder for the Dudleyz next month.
Result: Well, I can’t say, since I didn’t specify a clear winner. Booker and Goldie wins the straps and are fodder for the Dudley Boyz. That’s how I see it. 3-2
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Big Show (c) vs. Kurt Angle
2002 Pick: Big Show squashes Kurt Angle simply because he’s big and will eventually job to Triple H on RAW… oops, wrong time period, but you get the general idea.
Winner: Good news is I was wrong. WWE finally saw the light and Kurt Angle is a 3-time WWF/WWE World champion. To be honest, I would rather have been wrong and thank god I was. 3-3
Best-Of-Three Falls Stipulatory Match For the [Eric Bischoff’s RAW] World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels
2002 Pick: Yeah, it’s the infamous multi-stipulation gimmick. It won’t matter what the gimmicks are because one thing is certain. Triple H will carry the belt again and RAW’s ratings will go to hell.
Verdict: Bad news is I was right. WWE decided that Triple H should reign as champion and carry that trophy title around. What a joke. 4-3.
2012 Update: And carry it he would… for several more months before his reign was ended by Goldberg. But HHH would gain more title reigns and people would grow tired of him. Only a DX reunion in 2006 made him tolerable and not sleep-inducing. As for Shawn Michaels, he’d stick around several more years, but win no World Titles.
That’s all there is. See you tomorrow with a wrestling rant.