Posting old PPV Picks for the 2003 No Way Out PPV that took place in Montreal, where we got Rock-Hogan II. Funny how that works; Icon Vs. Icon had two big-time main events and they took place in Canada rather than America… given that Bret vs. Vince would take place in Arizona some years later, I think we got jipped in the long run… Oh well.
2003 Pre-Show Opening Comments
Live from Montreal, the City of Screwjobs, it’s No Way Out… since it’s in my backyard, I’ll just cut to the chase. So let’s check out the card and my (wrong) predictions.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Matt Hardy (Version 1.0) vs. Billy Kidman (c)
2003 Pick: Have they run out of potential cruiserweights for this division to continue or was there ever a Cruiserweight division to begin with? Could Matt Hardy possibly be the Cruiserweight champion? My prediction says yes. Why? Because the thought of Kidman as cruiserweight champ tells me that WWE doesn’t give a rat’s ass about him… HE SHOULD BE WORLD CHAMP!! WORLD CHAMP I TELL YOU!!!… okay, not really… but ol’ Billy deserves more than this.
Winner: Matt Hardy is your winner and new champ. Unfortunately, Kidman won’t get pushed. 1-0
2012 Update: Anyone reading this would be hard pressed to believe that Matt Hardy was once light enough to hold the WWE’s Cruiserweight title, considering the shape he’s in now. Then again, most people expected him to be the star of the show… only for Jeff to actually excel in that category… almost as much as Jeff actually excelling in staying clean, amazingly enough.
World Tag Team Titles
Lance Storm & William Regal (c) vs. Kane & RVD
2003 Pick: Simply put: another squash job for Storm & Regal. Either that, or we’ll have new tag champs for a day before these two Common-worthless wrestlers get their straps back.
Winner: Storm and Regal win the match by messing with Kane’s match. Unbelievable. The match was nothing special. 2-0.
Chris Jericho vs. Test Jeff Hardy
2003 Pick: Apparently, Test was late and got scratched off in favor of Jeff Hardy. Who cares? My pick is still in it.
Winner: Like I said, Test or Hardy, Jericho rules this match. 3-0.
The Undertaker vs. The Big Show
2003 Pick: Please tell me this is a cruel joke. Does anyone really need another lame-as-lame Taker/Show match that absolutely sucks ass? So slow… so boring… someone get me coffee… Taker won? OK, next.
*On a side note, Chris Kanyon returns… as a Boy George impersonator. A man whose life was once in jeopardy, a man who was in pain, a man who struggled to be in tip-top shape, and this is what he gets for his efforts? I feel for you, man.
Winner: Taker wins… so slow… so boring… here comes the A-Train! I think the ring caved in or something… 4-0.
The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan
2003 Pick: Here’s what’s going on. Rock comes out to boos. Hogan gets cheered. They lock up. Two minutes later, Hogan gets jeered and is confused. Rocky beats Hogan up and is heavily booed. Both wrestlers are confused, but continue to wrestle.
Crowd now starts to chant “RE-TI-RE!” loudly that Rock and Hogan stop the match. Rock goes on the mic and berates the crowd… what can the Rock expect from a bunch of French peppers? HUGE HEEL HEAT! Hogan knocks down Rock… only to be booed by the crowd… Hogan legdrops Rock and gets the pin. Crowd boos heavily and Hogan flips the Montreal crowd off, effectively killing his heat… of course, he’ll be a Real American – loved by many…
OKAY, OKAY! THAT SCENARIO WON’T HAPPEN… still, I don’t see why not… oh well…
Winner: The Rock beats Hogan… and Vince McMahon proves once again that he can do Hulk Hogan better than Hulk Hogan!… Oh yeah, I picked Hogan to win. Wonder what I was drinkin’… 4-1
2012 Update: Probably picked Hogan because I knew he’d want his win back. He sorta works that way… so it surprised me that Rock would get the duke here too. At least, Hogan got Vince at ‘Mania… while Rock got Stone Cold in his last EVAH match… also, this match saw the debut of Sylvain Grenier, evil French-Canadian referee who became a wrestler later on, but I digress.
I re-read the supposed attempt at dream match booking and sort of realized that something similar happened a year later at Wrestlemania XX in a match between Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg. No, it was as drug-addled as my little tale, but the crowd did boo both guys… and Brock did flip the crowd off afterwards… eerie shit, that.
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff
2003 Pick: Uncle Eric punches out more watermelons and Styrofoam blocks. The glass breaks and Austin drives a steamroller and flattens the ring with the Bisch still on it. Vince comes down and tells the timekeeper to “ring the fucking bell…” Okay, maybe not. But you get my point.
Winner: Austin wins the match. Word was that Austin demanded Bischoff put him over or else he would walk out again… okay, maybe not. 5-1
Brock and two Canadians that don’t matter vs. Kurt Angle and two Tag-Team champs that don’t matter
2003 Pick: Forget about it. I’m expecting a great match from these six individuals… except Brock Lesnar, who will probably F5 everyone into submission.
Winner: The match was alright, Brock didn’t F5 everyone, but Benoit got the win for his team. 6-1.
World Heavyweight Title
Triple H (c) vs. Scott Steiner
2003 Pick: Need I point out the obvious?… of course not!
Winner: If you don’t know who won, then you shouldn’t be reading this… that’s just me, though. 7-1.
2012 Update: It absolutely amazed me that WWE would give these two another match, given their piss-poor performance at that year’s Royal Rumble. This second time around fared no better, but at least had a definite winner, even if it was bloated Triple H. However, anyone who had hoped Scotty Steiner would bring in much needed fresh blood to the main event would have their hopes dashed, crashed, and pooped all over. Steiner would eventually stick around another year, but would make no major contribution to WWE outside of a debate and feuding with Test over Stacy Kiebler… yeah.
2003 Post-Show Comments
Wow. Seven matches correctly predicted… if this keeps up, I might have to change my gimmick. Of course, the card was done. Triple H is still champ, although as much as it pains me to say it, I must admit that he makes a better champ than Scott Steiner. Steiner should be dragged to the street and shot… good god!
I should have known better though, if I picked Rock, I would have had a perfect score! Then again, I didn’t think Vince would pull off another Montreal screwjob… with less than successful results. A pretty average show, but on the other hand, the fact that it was headlined by a lackluster rematch between two “icons” isn’t appealing.
2012 Reflections on WWE No Way Out 2003
I’ve been watching this one years later and found that I didn’t really enjoy this one all that much. Not to say that it’s a bad show or anything, but this was 2003 where WWE wasn’t really doing anything mindblowing or anything exceptionally well unless it’s on Smackdown. HHH-Steiner once more sucked the meat missile, Rock-Hogan II was decent for what it was, the 3-on-2 tag encounter was entertaining, and not much else stuck to mind. It’s not bad, but not my cup of tea.