2004 saw me touch on two PPVs; Wrestlemania 20 and Taboo Tuesday. Since I’ve already reposted Mania 20 as part of the Ramblemania feature, I decided to jump ahead with Taboo Tuesday.
Once upon a time, WWE experimented with an interactive PPV format that fans would get to vote on various things. It started off as a Tuesday PPV before it became a Sunday PPV dubbed Cyber Sunday. This kind of PPV hasn’t been attempted again in quite a while, but they tried to do it again on RAW… it didn’t quite workout.
The following was a quick running blog of the PPV in progress. I’m not going to insert any modern thoughts because quite frankly the show is a complete blank and I don’t have a copy on hand to revisit the show. So here it is, as is with non-flattering comments and incoherent ramblings. Enjoy.
(2018 Update: Yes, hello. I just wanted to add this tidbit here because I need to. This post was written in 2004 and as such, contains some rather “poor choice of words” if I could find a proper euphemism. I’ve chosen to leave the post as is, so that means those “poor choice of words” stay in unedited. Suffice it to say, reader discretion is strongly advised. Thank you.)
Taboo Tuesday Ramblings
October 19th, 2004
The following is a rather lengthy posting concerning the latest throwaway PPV from Vince McMahon. Yes, I’m talking about Taboo Tuesday. Surprisingly, aside from the three crap matches, the PPV didn’t cause me to go for an extended crap during the show and didn’t cause me to go to bed earlier than I had feared. It’s not a great show, but it wasn’t shit either. I don’t know how others will see this show, but considering its worthlessness, I thought it was a good show… and that’s saying a lot.
The majority were posted on the blog individually as the show progressed. For the sake of archival purposes, I’ve compressed all those into one nifty entry. I’ve also added extra perspectual comments on each match… if they needed any.
The show opens and the first vote comes in: Divas come dressed as Schoolgirls! Just so you know, I voted Schoolgirls too. 1 – 0.
Immediately, we open up with the IC title match and out comes Chris Jericho, the reigning champ. I choose William Regal to be the top contender, but he didn’t get voted for. (1 – 1) Shelton Benjamin gets the shot, but that’s alright. In something that I didn’t expect to see happen, Benjamin beat Chris F’N Jericho to win the title. What a clusterf*ck. Of the good kind.
By the way, just to backtrack a bit, 7 percent of the Internet voted for Johnathan Coachman to be the titlist. That seven percent are idiots.
The World Title vote is in. It’s HHH vs. HBK for the World Title & Edge/Benoit vs. La Rez for the World Tag Titles. Everyone loves HBK, including me since I voted for him. (2 – 1) Nobody gives a f*ck about Benoit… but at least Benoit is subtle about it and wishes Shawn good luck. Edge is pissed and walks away. You f*cking stupid people made Edge ANGRY!
It’s the Fulfill(er) Your Fantasy Rumble. Time to rate the school girl outfits:
Trish = OKish.
Jazz = Boof.
Nidia = Uh.
Gail = You call that a schoolgirl outfit?! WTF?!
Molly = Ugh.
Victoria = Ooh. OKish.
Stacy = Usual slutty outfits.
F*cking Vince let me down again. My perverted fantasies haven’t been fulfilled! Back to Sailor Moon and underaged schoolgirls, I guess. Just kidding.
It’s THE BIG RED RETARD KANE vs. THE BABYKILLER GENE SNITSKY!!!!!!!!!! Everyone goes for the chain. F*cking idiots. The lead pipe was the more logical choice! Nonetheless, this was a brutal brawl that would have been more excited if the pipe was used, but hey. It was fun… oh my. (2 – 2)
Oh yeah, Trish won the filler match. Who cares?
Snitsky Destroys Kane! But IT WASN’T HIS FAULT! HE WAS TRYING TO TAKE THE PRESSURE OF FIVE GUYS TO CARRY DEAD WEIGHT TO THE BACK AND IT FELL! IT WASN’T HIS FAULT DAMMIT!
The people pissed off Edge. Edge is pissed.
And Bischoff needs a haircut. Worked for him before – oh wait, he shortly got fired after that. Oops.
There goes the black dye investment. (3 – 2)
Here comes Vince
Coach wears a dress.
YOU PHONY SON OF A BITCH! YOU DYE YOUR HAIR?!!
Edge is still pissed.
Here comes La Rez. They sing the French-Canadian national anthem in its entirety… BONJOUR, QUE-BECK… oh wait.
We have our match. Edge gets pissed off more and splits, leaving Benoit all alone. Benoit wins and gets ALL the gold from La Rez JUST BECAUSE HE CAN! All bow before the mighty CANUCK!
I’m not going to dignify the Diva Search lingerie pillow crap. Rich line from Lawler: Who cares about wrestling training? With crap like this, I agree. Man, talk about a throwaway PPV. I voted Aerobics Challenge for no particular reason, but obviously, we all want to see two women in lingerie. And not even good looking women either. (3 – 3)
They’re having the title match now?! Holy f*cking shit, 50+ year old Ric Flair is in the f*cking main event of this show?! Did I just order a WCW pay-per-view all of a sudden? Is the “Bottle of Geritol On a Pole” Match added to the ballot? ‘Cause if it is, I’m voting for that instead! Good lord.
HBK is getting his ass kicked with a bad methosisis or whatever… bad knee. The Power of Christ COMPELS HIM TO CONTINUE… on a bad knee. Here comes the EDGE. HHH wins… oh, come the f*ck on! Like you didn’t see that coming!
Yeah, it was a good match, but you’ve seen it all before. Kudos to Shawn for working with a real bad knee… unless he’s faking that one too.
So here it is: the main event. Randy Orton, former world champion (!) versus Ric Flair, former world champion. In a steel cage. I picked submission because it’s time for something different. Haven’t we overused the f*cking cage already? I don’t know what’s more horrifying to bear; the fact that people prefer a steel cage match or that Ric Flair is in the main event of a Pay-Per-View. Randy beats Flair with an RKO outta nowhere. A sign of respect follows and the show ends.
What the f*ck was I thinking voting for a submission match? This cage match kicked sixteen different kinds of ass and this was old fart Flair at his best, wrestling more like the Ric Flair of old when the guy was defending his World Title in steel cages for a living and not the half-assed former champ who almost seems like a parody of his former self.
Four choices weren’t voted, three choices were. Not all bad.
Like I said, this isn’t the greatest PPV I’ve ever seen, but considering how much most of this was “on-the-fly” although the rigging possibility is there, this isn’t the worst either. It was something different and hopefully this does well enough to become an annual event. From a PPV that I was expecting little out of, there were a couple of WTF moments when it came to the two title changes. Not bad.