PPV Predictions – TNA Sacrifice 2010

Vintage-PPV-Predictions

Yep. I’m doing picks for a TNA PPV. Go figure.

It’s TNA Sacrifice. The first PPV of the new age where Impact sees a return to Thursdays after being humbled and tapping out (and they can sugar-coat it any way they want, but that is the case) and the tag champs are Scott Hall and Kevin Nash. What a pile of shit. Fuck you, TNA.

Okay, okay. Let’s get this over with. Updated with results.

#1 Contendership for the TNA World Tag-Team Championships

Beer Money Vs. MotorCity Machine Guns Vs. Team 3D

A three-way for a shot at the tag-team titles… okay, sounds good despite the fact we already saw this match on Impact (plus one other team). I’d have to say that Team 3D is going to get the win; not because they deserve it (they’ve won like a million tag titles, do they really need more?), but because we need to build up to that dream match of watching the Dudley Boyz duking it out with the Outsiders.

Pick: Team 3D

Winner: Motor City Machine Guns… well, that’s a surprise. A nice one at that. (0-1)

Career vs. Title

Tara vs. Madison Rayne (c)

One advantage TNA has over WWE; I actually – to a certain extent – give a damn about the women matches. In any case, Madison’s going to retain the title and Lise Marie goes bye-bye (and maybe back to WWE, who knows?) as a result.

Pick: Madison Rayne

Winner: Madison Rayne. Bye, Vicky. (1-1)

TNA Global Championship Match

Rob Terry (c) vs. Orlando Jordan

Are you sure Rob Terry is the “freak” in this match? Hey, I’ve no problem with Orlando Jordan’s orientation; that’s his deal. I have a problem with his stereotypical weird portrayal. Can’t any of these bisexual folks play characters that doesn’t come across as effeminate? With that said, Terry retains.

Pick: Rob Terry

Winner: Rob Terry (2-1)

Desmond Wolfe vs. Abyss

So here’s the deal. If Desmond Wolfe wins, he gets Hulk Hogan’s WWE Hall of Fame ring… surprised this isn’t the fucking main event. If Abyss wins, he gets the girl. I highly doubt that Abyss is going to lose since he’s powered by the Hulkamaniacs or whatever Hulkster bullshit is being stirred up today. Sorry, Nigel.

Pick: Abyss

Winner: Abyss (3-1)

TNA X-Division Championship

Kazarian (c) vs. Doug Williams

You know, I have to sympathize with Williams here. The guy gets stuck overseas and just like that he’s stripped of the title? That little Hulkster is always thinking of pissing me off. Here’s hoping that Doug gets HIS title back, but sadly Kazarian is going to retain the title. But hey, look on the bright side: at least it’s over a TNA title and not a WWE foam belt or something.

Pick: Kazarian

Winner: Doug Williams. Well, at least I can say I’m glad I’m wrong in this case. (3-2)

TNA World Tag-Team Championships

Ink Inc. vs. The Outsid–, er, I mean, The Band (c, fuck you TNA)

As much as it pains me, Hall and Nash will retain in this match. Fuck you, TNA.

Pick: The Outsiders… I mean, Da Band. (fuck you, TNA)

Pick: The Outsiders… I mean, Da Band. (4-2… fuck you, TNA)

Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson

If Anderson wins, Jeff has to give up his stash of drugs. If Jeff wins, Anderson gives up his prized microphone and personal choice… see, if those were the actual stipulations to this match, I might be inclined to order the PPV right then and there. Alas, it isn’t. And so I say Hardy wins.

Pick: Jeff Hardy

Winner: Jeff Hardy (5-2)

By the way… Anderson’s Asshole promo? Best one he’s ever done.

Sting Vs. Jeff Jarrett

What, again? Jeff wins.

Pick: Jeff Jarrett

Winner: Sting wins. (5-3)

TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Rob Van Dam (c) vs. AJ Styles

RVD wins and AJ wishes he hadn’t said that bit about Hulk Hogan five years ago.

Pick: RVD

Winner: RVD (6-3)

And so that’s it. I’m done for now. Next week, WWE’s Under The Limit PPV.

Later.

And oh yeah, fuck you, TNA.

This entry was posted in PPV Predictions (2002-2011), Wrestling Musings. Bookmark the permalink.

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