Yep, the night of champions is tomorrow… but I’m doing the picks today because I don’t want to spoil the 200th post on some PPV predictions for a sports-entertainment show. But anyway, here we are:
Big Show vs. CM Punk
If there are pre-shows to be had like there were back in the mid-to-late 1990s, then this would have been a good fit for it. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but neither one of these guy are presently in possession of a championship belt, thus negating the point of having a Night of Champions. In any case, I think CM Punk is going to get the win here. The guy desperately needs one after constantly getting buried over the past several weeks. Big Show doesn’t need to win here.
Pick: CM Punk
Winner: Big Show… for fuck’s sake (0-1)
Thoughts: As much as I curse this match for CM Punk not winning, I have to admit that at least he was made to look like a match for Big Show. Not to mention, it’s generally rare for Big Show to win a match that meant something… so yeah. But then again, Show doesn’t need the win. The guy could loss a million matches and still manage to look good.
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Kofi Kingston
Additional stipulation to this match – Dolph Ziggler can lose the title via countout or disqualification, thus nullifying the usual championship advantage. Won’t mean a damn thing.
Pick: Ziggler retains
Winner: Dolph Ziggler retains (1-1)
Thoughts: I actually missed most of this match, so I can’t really comment on it. I guess if you’ve seen one Ziggler/Kingston match, you’ve seen them all… but don’t take my word for it. I haven’t seen it, so I can’t say.
Unification of the Womens’ and Divas’ Championships
Michelle McCool vs. Melina
Honestly… if you’ve been following some of my past predictions, you’d know my reaction to matches like this.
Pick: Don’t Care
Winner: Don’t Care (2-1)… but for those who do, the blond one wins both titles.
Thoughts: Beer cake and coffee go well together… as for the match… don’t care.
United States Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Daniel Bryan Danielson
Everybody is going for the obvious choice of Danielson getting the win while the Miz moves on to be a prick. And while that would be the smart pick, I wouldn’t put it past WWE to keep the belt on Miz for a little while longer… either through DQ or perhaps outside interference. In any case, I’ll just go with Danielson.
Pick: Daniel Bryan Danielson
Winner (and new champion): Daniel Bryan Danielson (3-1)
Thoughts: This was a nice match. The end result was obvious, but I enjoyed the match and the story it told. That’s all I really need.
No-Holds Barred for the World Heavyweight Championship
Kane (c) vs. Undertaker
I’ve seen more Kane vs. Undertaker matches in my lifetime than I would care to admit. I have no real desire or inclination to sit through another one. Outside of the whole vegetative state, the feud actually had a decent build to it and chances are it might get some people interested in seeing this one again. But yeah… as far as a prediction goes, Kane will retain the title here so that the two could duke in out in the Hell in A Cell match.
Winner: Kane (4-1)
Thoughts: Admittedly, the thought of sitting through another Kane/Undertaker match was pretty nauseating and in all honesty, that could have been a factor in my inability to fully embrace this latest iteration. I like the story that was being told – a diminished Undertaker whose power has left him and possibly embraced the monster Kane – and the last promo on Smackdown did a really nice job of selling this feud. But at the end of the day, it was still the same Kane/Undertaker match that I’ve seen before, only with a couple minor differences here and there. Nice to see Kane win a match over Taker (to my recollection, hasn’t really happened outside of a match they had on RAW back in 1998), but that was obvious given that they might feud again in Hell In A Cell two weeks away.
Tag-Team Turmoil for the Tag-Team Championships featuring ten guys who don’t matter…
Yeah, so this was probably thrown together at the last minute because “We need to have ALL the champs defend their titles, so here’s a tag title match.” Now I had predicted the champs to retain but that was on account of a one-on-one match. Early on, that was scratched out… so no prediction. But in any case, here’s the end result of the Turmoil match:
Round 1: Usos defeat the Hart Dynasty (c). As a result, new champions to be crowned.
Round 2: Usos defeat Santino Marella & Vladimir Koslov
Round 3: Mark Henry & Evan Bourne defeat the Usos.
Round 4: Dashing Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre defeat Mark Henry & Evan Bourne
Winners: Dashing Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre… can’t we have an actual tag-team? Would be nice… but I digress.
Thoughts: I missed a significant amount of this match, but I knew that there would be new champs crowned the minute they announced the Tag-Team Turmoil.
Six-Pack-Challenge for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. five guys who don’t matter… one of which happens to be the champ
You know what? I’ll be brave and say that Sheamus retains his belt so that he can continue to keep it warm for Triple H when he eventually comes back.
First: Randy Orton eliminates Chris Jericho
Second: John Cena eliminates Edge
Third: Wade Barrett eliminates John Cena
Fourth: Randy Orton eliminates Wade Barrett
Fifth: Randy Orton eliminates Sheamus
Winner: Randy Orton… meh. (4-2)
Thoughts: I honestly thought this would have been a hell of a lot longer and kinda wished it were – the whole thing sort felt like they were in a hurry to finish even though they had plenty of time to stretch it out. Also, I kinda felt Sheamus should have retained the title and maybe drop to Randy at the PPV instead of here, but whatever. Overall, it was alright. But nothing special.