Okay, so it’s been a while since I did one of these PPV Prediction things and since there’s a TNA PPV tonight, I’d figure that I throw my two-cents in. I have to admit that I haven’t really been following Impact all that, although I did see a couple shows and checked the recaps, so the picks are based on speculation and personal thought.
So here we go…
Brother Ray VS. Brother Devon
You know, the last time I checked, retirement meant going away for good. Oh right, wrestling doesn’t have retirements… oh well. In any case, I don’t really care about this one. The battle of the Dudleyz mean nothing to me unless Devon’s dressed up as a reverend and is accompanied by Deacon Dave.
Pick: Brother Ray… I’m just throwing it out there
Winner: Brother Ray via DQ (1-0)
TNA Knockouts Championship
Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne (c)
This is another one that I wouldn’t normally care about, but I’m only mentioning it because Mickie James is in it and I want to make another crack about TNA being a Dixie Carter Alumni Center or something. But seriously, though, Mickie has to win this one.
Pick: Mickie James
Winner: Madison Rayne retains. Fuck you, TNA. (1-1)
TNA X-Division Championship
Jay Lethal (c) vs. Kazarian
Poor Jay Lethal – has six reigns as X-Division champion under his belt and none of them lasted too long. It’s almost like turning your head to sneeze during a Jay Lethal title reign and when you look back, it’s all over. That’s pretty much the same case here.
Winner: Kazarian… thank god. (2-1)
Rob Van Dam vs. Mystery Opponent (Matt Hardy)
Chances are the mystery opponent is going to be Matt Hardy… welcome to TNA, Matt. Time to be a jobber again after this debut match.
Pick: Matt Hardy
Winner: Matt Hardy (3-1)
Jeff Jarrett (!!) vs. Kurt Angle
Fuck you, Jarrett.
Pick: Kurt Angle
Winner: No contest. Fuck you, TNA. I’m not counting this one.
TNA Tag-Team Championship
Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Beer Money
Judging from their past encounters (which were awesome matches), this is probably the only match worth watching on this card thus far. Beer Money may be part of a major faction, but they don’t need the belts… not yet.
Pick: The Guns
Winners: Beer Money… meh, they gotta win it sooner or later. Not disappointed at all, actually. (3-2)
TNA Television Championship
Douglas Williams (c) vs.
AJ Styles Abyss
I spoke too soon; here’s another match worth watching here. AJ Styles has always been able to bring the goods to make a match good and from what I’ve seen of Douglas Williams, he does some nice stuff. Won’t be good as the tag-title match, but should be fun to watch.
As far as a winner goes… Williams just won the title a short while ago, so he should win this one. On the other hand, logic escapes TNA and AJ might get his title back. I don’t know. I’ll flip for it…
Pick: AJ Styles
Winner: Abyss, who subbed for an injured AJ Styles. I’m not counting this one.
And again, fuck you, TNA.
No. 1 Contendership for the TNA Divas Championship… I mean, World Title
Matt Morgan vs. Ken Anderson
Mr. Anderson wins…
Pick: Mr. Anderson wins…
Winner: Mr. Anderson wins… (4-2)
And, of course, the aftermath of this match is that Anderson is forced to wrestle Jeff Hardy for the World title right then, right there. Since this is a last-minute surprise…
Mr. Anderson is your new World Champion… Champion by beating Jeff Hardy after five billion run-ins.
That’s all. Good bye.
Oh yeah… fuck you, TNA.